If you’re reading this, you’re probably curious about where I’ve gone or you’re interested in Project: Foshes development. I won’t be talking about Project: Foshes in this one, so if that’s what you’re here for, you’re going to have to skip this. Rather, I want to sort of vent about what I feel right now.
I am not happy with myself. I want to be an amazing programmer, but I can’t help but be really bad at it. I don’t understand how some people can just code without Googling anything and seem to have no problems at all. They encounter an issue and it’s almost common sense to them. I want to be like that. I want to do things that have never been done before, but I’m not creative or smart enough to do so. I don’t know what to change and I want to take a break to discover some meaning behind this. What is my purpose?
I think what bugs me the most is that this is the only thing I have. I’m not great at chess, iMessage games, I don’t eat well, work out, and I don’t have any skills outside of coding. I’ve spent 3 years of my life grinding this stuff and I can barely throw together a Murder Mystery game. It’s painful to even write.
From here, I plan to write blogs about what I’m working on with Project: Foshes. I want to write about updates and things that I learn. I’m going to discover new avenues of computer science and create a great game. I’m sorry for taking a break. I have issues that I need to figure out on my own and I hope that you understand that. I’ll be back when I believe that I’m ready.